Valentine’s Day is also about self-love and your well-being

14 Feb 2025

Valentine’s Day has always been about celebrating love, but have you ever considered the most important relationship in your life — the one with yourself?

Image supplied

The way we speak to ourselves has a profound impact on our mental and emotional well-being. Yet, many of us are our own worst critics, caught in a cycle of self-doubt and negative self-talk.

According to Kerry Rudman, neurofeedback specialist and founder of Brain Harmonics, self-love is not just a feel-good concept — it’s essential for mental health.

“The way we talk to ourselves shapes our thoughts, emotions, and actions. If we are constantly criticizing ourselves, it can lead to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Learning to rewire our brains and develop self-compassion is key to overall well-being,” says Rudman.

For those who struggle with self-love, neurofeedback may offer a solution. Neurofeedback is a form of biofeedback that helps individuals train their brainwaves, improving focus, emotional regulation, and mental clarity. It has been successfully used to alleviate conditions like anxiety, depression, and ADHD.

“Neurofeedback allows people to recognise and change negative thought patterns at a neurological level. By training the brain to function more optimally, individuals can experience increased self-compassion, improved mood, and a greater sense of well-being,” explains Rudman.

The process is non-invasive and painless. It involves placing sensors on the scalp to measure brain activity. The brain is then guided to develop healthier patterns through real-time feedback.

Over time, this helps reduce negative self-talk and increase self-acceptance.

In addition to neurofeedback, Rudman shares some practical ways to cultivate self-love:

Challenge your inner critic: If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.
Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially in tough moments.
Focus on your strengths: Make a list of your positive qualities and revisit it regularly.
Set realistic goals: Aim for progress, not perfection.
Prioritise self-care: Ensure you get enough sleep, eat well, and exercise.
Surround yourself with support: Spend time with loved ones who uplift you.
Engage in activities you enjoy: Do things that bring you joy and relaxation.
Forgive yourself: Learn from mistakes and move forward without self-judgment.